Self-Parenting 101
Self-parenting, self-love, and self-care go hand in hand. All three are there to help you make conscious decisions and allow you to take better care of yourself.
After doing a lot of internal work, I now have a clearer vision of why we need to practice good self-parenting. The problem is that many people feel this type of self-care needs to be deeper and more altruistic. But that couldn’t be further from the truth!
Below are some self-parenting 101 tips and tricks to help you prioritize what you need to thrive and lead a fulfilling life.
Let’s get started.
What Is Self-Parenting?
In short, self-parenting is focused care involving healthy living patterns and positive daily habits. It highlights the things that truly matter in your life, like sleep, nourishment, and security.
Yet, while those are all great ways to manage your overall health, self-parenting takes it a step further.
At its core, self-parenting is how you can fulfill unmet needs from childhood. It’s a way to tone down your inner critic, a culmination of voices you’ve internalized and now believe as your own.
As a result, you learn to listen more to your emotions and thoughts. You become more compassionate towards who you are as a person, and you allow yourself to feel worthy and seen.
It does this by providing new experiences that can lead to more satisfying behavior and a more positive effect, thus helping you create better outcomes in your life.
5 Self-Parenting Tips
In my search for ways of being a better parent to myself, I looked at some of the ways good parents care for their kids. Then, I used them to create an outline that adults can apply to themselves to enhance their inner parent.
Take a look.
1. Accept Your Emotions
Feelings help us define what’s happening so we can articulate our thoughts and act accordingly. When children have intense feelings, it can sometimes be overwhelming. If we’re not taught how to deal with those big, scary emotions at a young age, we still won’t be able to deal with them as adults.
This is where self-parenting helps. Tell yourself that it’s okay to have feelings, no matter how big or small.
More importantly, avoid making yourself feel guilty or ashamed about feeling a certain way. Instead, learn how to make the most of these feelings to understand better what you’re going through and help yourself move forward.
2. Set Healthy Boundaries
When your life has clearly defined expectations, you can safely navigate and explore within those boundaries. So, make it clear what you expect of yourself and your life.
Yet, we’re trained to listen to our elders and to behave appropriately. Then, we grow up and fear what will happen if we assert our needs as adults. So, we put everyone’s needs before our own to avoid rejection.
However, with boundaries, you have the power. It may sting if someone rejects you for saying no for whatever reason. But you’ll survive and come out stronger and more confident.
3. Have Reasonable Expectations
Write down realistic goals for the year ahead. Start with long-term goals, then break them into monthly, weekly, and daily objectives.
Working down from larger to more manageable short-term goals will give you a sense of accomplishment. Plus, it helps you focus on what you have to do and avoid feeling hurt or helpless.
Remind yourself to be proud of your commitment to do the work. And each time you achieve something on our list, reward yourself. Then, after each one, think about setting new goals that can help you achieve more in your personal and professional life.
4. Create a Regular Routine
Knowing that you’ll be doing certain things at certain times is one of the best self-parenting techniques ever! Having a routine helps prepare you for what’s ahead so you can have time to adjust and react accordingly. It also teaches you responsibility, leadership, and discipline.
For example, one of the first things experts will advise you to do is to go to bed at a specific time each night. It would help if you created a nightly ritual to help you unwind and relax at the end of the day.
Start by turning off all screens 30–60 minutes before bedtime and dim the lights. You can bring an enjoyable book to read. Or you can play some soft music to ease you into sleep mode and reduce any nighttime jitters you may have.
5. Know Your Core Values
Adults from neglectful homes are often not taught morals when they were children. So, as you self-parent, it’s up to you to determine what it takes to become a helpful, empathetic community member. It would help if you also learned the importance of respecting yourself and others and being honest and trustworthy. And the best way to do that is by discovering your core values. One thing you can do to appreciate the role that helping others has in your life is to volunteer at a local shelter or community center. Even a simple gesture, holding the door for someone or smiling at a stranger, can do miracles for your self-esteem.