Surviving Thanksgiving: A Therapist’s Guide to Protecting Your Peace During Family Gatherings
By Dr. D | Core3 Harmony & Wellness Services
Family gatherings during Thanksgiving can be beautiful, heartwarming, and deeply meaningful—but they can also be overwhelming. Between old family dynamics, emotional triggers, sensory overload, grief, and elevated expectations, it’s common to feel anxious instead of grateful as the holiday approaches.
If you’re heading into Thanksgiving hoping to stay grounded, connected, and emotionally safe, this guide is for you. Below are practical, therapist-informed strategies to help you protect your peace, maintain your boundaries, and show up as your most authentic self.
1. Acknowledge Your Triggers (Don’t Judge Them)
If Thanksgiving tends to stir up old emotional wounds or bring on stress, you’re not alone. Holistic emotional health begins with knowing what activates you.
Common holiday triggers include:
Returning to old family roles
Conversations about politics, parenting, relationships, or life choices
Criticism or unsolicited advice
Loud environments or sensory overload
Grief and missing loved ones
Feeling pressure to host, cook, or “perform”
Financial stress or comparison
Instead of trying to “push through,” take a moment to identify what specifically tends to impact you. Awareness is power—it allows you to prepare rather than react.
2. Set Realistic Expectations (For Yourself & Your Family)
We often enter the holidays hoping this year will be different: more peaceful, more understanding, more respectful.
But the truth is—people tend to behave consistently, especially in familiar family systems.
Give yourself permission to:
Expect others to be who they’ve always been
Release the fantasy of the “perfect holiday”
Prioritize emotional safety over tradition
Ask for what you need (even if it’s uncomfortable)
Grounding mantra: “I can’t control their behavior, but I can control my response and my boundaries.”
3. Bring Your Boundary Plan With You
Boundaries are not walls—they’re guidelines that protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
You can set boundaries around:
Topics you won’t discuss
How long you’ll stay
What you will or won’t help with
How you respond to comments about your appearance, parenting, relationships, or lifestyle
Your need for quiet time or space
Try these scripts:
“I’m not discussing this topic today.”
“I’m going to step outside to get some air.”
“I’m focusing on my mental health today—let’s talk about something lighter.”
“No thank you, I’m not drinking tonight.”
Boundaries create peace—not conflict.
4. Use Grounding Techniques Before, During, and After the Gathering
Nervous system regulation is your superpower when navigating emotionally charged spaces.
Here are some quick tools you can use discreetly:
Box Breathing (4–4–4–4)
Inhale 4 → Hold 4 → Exhale 4 → Hold 4.
5-4-3-2-1 Sensory Grounding
Identify: 5 things you see 4 things you feel 3 things you hear 2 things you smell 1 thing you taste
Temperature Reset
Hold something cold (a drink can, metal utensil, cold water) to reset your stress response.
Thought Reframe
Instead of: “I can’t handle this,” Try: “I can step away and take care of myself when I need to.”
5. Plan Your Support System Before You Go
Identify one or two people who help you feel grounded. This could be a partner, friend, sibling, therapist, or even a group chat.
Choose a phrase or emoji you can send if you need support, such as:
“I need grounding.”
🧘
“Checking in.”
Sometimes just knowing someone is “on call” brings tremendous comfort.
6. Give Yourself Full Permission to Leave Early (or Not Go at All)
You are not required to stay in an environment that feels emotionally unsafe, draining, or harmful.
You have options:
Attend for a shorter time
Sit at the kids’ table
Step outside
Take a drive
Take a walk around the block
Leave early
Decline entirely
Your well-being is more important than any holiday tradition.